KiKing off-camera: a conversation with our erotic photo soirée model

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Sex KiKi recently hosted an erotic photo soirée to celebrate our community, and give them the opportunity to be part of creating ethical erotic imagery, but joy, empowerment, and intimacy don’t end on set. Here’s what one of our model/volunteers had to say about their on-set experience, visual inspirations and their journey toward sex-positivity overall. This is part one of a two-part Q&A series.

Anonymous, 29

Q: What made you come out and take part in the erotic photo soirée?

A: I’m a friend of Coriama’s (founder & creative director of sex KiKi/SK Studios) and I appreciate the things that she does, especially aesthetically. I love how she showcases erotic photos, but they always look tasteful and classy. I was telling her recently that I wanted to do more pictures because I appreciate my body, and I wanted to show it in a tasteful way. When she (Coriama) said she was doing this shoot, I was excited because I felt this was the perfect way to start this journey.  

Q: Talk to me about your experience, what was it like getting in front of the camera? Did you draw inspiration from someone or something?

A: In front of the camera, I felt very comfortable and welcomed. That was my first time being around people without clothes on. I really liked modeling, and because everyone else was naked, even though I wasn’t, I felt at ease. Because if they could feel comfortable like that, I could feel comfortable too even if I’m camera shy.

Solange’s recent project (singer/songwriter Solange released her fourth album When I Get Home this month) was inspiring. The girl on the pole, I think her name is Neyon, was inspiring. Solange is definitely the mood all 2019, so to get the opportunity to shoot some dope photos really motivated me. This was a great segue for me to enter the sex-positive community.

Q: Talk to me about your journey towards sex-positivity and why that matters to you?

A: My journey is important to me because…I was told not to mess with girls, not to have sex, and told that all of these things were evil and that all of these things were bad. To constantly have to go through life fighting, and going through relationships where you are genuinely unhappy, and then finally understanding that what it really comes down to is not being able to be yourself because you are so stuck on what you are “supposed” to be doing. So many people think that sex and sex-positivity are about finding an outlet for all of the chaos, drama or negative things in your life, but it’s actually about celebrating who you are and celebrating each other's bodies. Sex-positivity takes away shame...and that’s a beautiful feeling, and something I haven’t experienced in my almost 30 years.

Q: Why do you think it's important to have sex-positive spaces like sex KiKi?

A: It brings up a lot of questions and topics like self-care and safety. When people are open to discussing sexuality or things that they want to do, it allows the conversation to go further...it creates a safe sexual space where everyone feels heard.

In our society consent is so misunderstood because people are so focused on “what you should and shouldn’t be doing or who you should or shouldn’t be having sex with” that consent doesn’t even get discussed in an in-depth way.

When you come into a sex-positive space, sex could look so many different ways to so many different people, and that allows us to understand consent and its depths because it is such a complex thing. I appreciate that and as a (person working in a woman-dominated field for almost 20 years) I’ve seen that if I have 100 clients, at least 90 of them have been assaulted. Clients have told me stories, but don’t discuss their experiences as rape or molestation because they don’t understand consent and I have to tell them, “No, what happened to you is not okay.” If you are carrying trauma with you being able to find a space that is open and lets you know that sex is okay, that sex is healthy, and that sex is safe, is priceless.

Check out this video for more behind the scenes fun!